Insulted
by HardyBoyz4Eva
Summary: Phil/Clint. Phil Coulson's really done it this time… Slash. Narcoleptic!Phil. Please Review!


**Title:** Insulted

**Rated:** M (Mature)

**Genre(s):** Romance/Humor

**Pair(s):** Phil Coulson/Clint Barton, Tony/Steve

**Summary:** Phil Coulson's really done it this time…

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anyone.

**Warning:** Slash, Narcoleptic!Phil, etc.

**OOOO**

"Clint!" Phil had chased Clint all over the tower, only to finally corner him in the kitchen. Well, _corner_ was a bit of an overstatement. Clint stood there and waited for him, one dark eyebrow raised.

The marksman blew on his coffee, before he started to drink. Tony was at the stove, about to burn Steve's bacon. "Yes, Phil?" Clint asked, one eyebrow raised.

"Listen, we need to talk about what happened last -," here, Tony and Steve turned to look at Phil oddly. "Isn't there somewhere where we can talk… that's a little more private?"

"No." Clint shook his head. "I think that we can talk here."

Phil's eye twitched and a soft, rose color started to dust across his cheeks. "Okay, then."

Clint set his coffee down on the counter and turned to his boyfriend. "Well?"

"I wanted to say that I was sorry about… well, you know." Phil rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. Clint deserved a better explanation than this. "I… I'm just sorry, okay?"

"No, Phil. It's not okay." Clint said, his voice eerily calm. "You know, if you weren't in the mood, you could've just said so. You didn't have to fall asleep in the middle of -,"

"Okay!" Phil cut him off before he could continue, but it was too late.

Tony Stark, the Avenger's resident playboy (who, at the moment, seemed to be grounded by one charismatic blond captain), walked over to them and clapped a hand on Phil's shoulder. "Couldn't perform, huh? That sucks, man."

If possible, Phil's eyes widened so far that it seemed like they would fall out of his head at any moment. The soft flush on his cheeks became darker. "N-No."

Clint could barely contain a chuckle as he watched the scene unfold. Truth be told, he was still a little ticked at his handler for leaving him high and dry the night before. He had teased Clint all day, but when it came time for the older man to deliver, the bastard had _fallen asleep_. Was Clint really that bad in bed? Phil had never complained before. The blond rolled his eyes as he watched Tony and Phil quarrel with one another, before his almost colorless blue eyes flickered over to the Captain.

Steve stood off to the side, a look of total confusion on his face as Tony continued to make blatantly sexual, almost vulgar references that were totally lost on the Captain. It was only made worse by the fact that Phil was only becoming more and more embarrassed. It wasn't really Steve's fault. He was from a time where sex wasn't discussed over bacon and coffee. Hell, it wasn't normally discussed over bacon and coffee today! Clint continued to be amazed at the total lack of a filter between Tony's brain and his mouth.

Hesitantly, Phil looked over to Clint to see if the younger blond would assist him. Clint shook his head, a small smirk on his lips as he took his coffee into the other room. Phil was on his own. The blond archer sat down across from Natasha, who also had a cup of steaming hot black coffee. Hers, however, was untouched. She had an action novel in her hands, and Clint knew that she must have come to trust her fellow heroes if she could allow herself to focus her attention on a book. Clint smiled and took a drink.

"I heard about Phil." The red-head said sarcastically. "How long do you plan to torture him?"

Clint smirked. "I don't _torture _him. He tortured me! I believe that any punishment that I decide on would be justified." Clint said. "However, I have just the idea in mind."

"Oh?" Natasha set her book down and turned around to face Clint, truly interested. "And what would that be?"

Clint shot one last look at his poor lover, who was still being drilled by Tony and earning confused looks from the Captain. "It involves my bow, the shower head, and some cheesy 80s music."

Natasha smirked evilly. "Tell me more…"

**OOOO**

"Is this really necessary, Clint?" The smaller blond's handler asked as he tried, and failed, to release himself from his bonds. "I did say that I was sorry."

Clint smirked. "Yes, Phil. This is _absolutely_ necessary."

Clint had slid Phil's wrists through the loop of the bow and had hooked the arch over the shower head, which spewed warm water onto Coulson's back. _Pour Some Sugar On Me_ played in the background, but it could barely be heard over the rushing pulse of the water. Phil had to admit that it _did_ feel good. Clint took the bottle of body wash and squirted some of the clear liquid onto his hand, before he lathered it and carefully started to smear it over every crevice of Phil's body that he could reach. He was careful to avoid Coulson's cock, which throbbed with anticipation.

Gently, Clint massaged all of the aches out of each muscle that he touched. The hands of a talented marksman worked Phil's body like a finely tuned instrument, bringing him to his peak without even touching his cock. However, when he felt Phil's body tense in anticipation of an impending orgasm, he took a step back and allowed him to cool down as he washed the soap residue off of his hands. If this was how Clint had felt last night, then he deserved every minute of this treatment. He only hoped he could make it through in one piece.

"You ready, babe?" Clint batted his long, coal lashes at Phil innocently.

"Depends." Phil breathed out heavily. "What do you intend to do to me?"

Clint smirked as he maneuvered himself carefully so that he was on his knees, the occasional drop of water smacking him on the face. "Torture you, of course."

"Wait, what?" Where the only two words that Phil could force out before Clint swallowed him whole.

Clint's humor-filled cerulean eyes flickered up to meet Phil's as he took all that his handler had to offer, his talented hands coming up to fondle the man's balls. Phil had never been on this end of it before. Well, in terms of the blowjob he had. But he had never been the one who was bound. Often, it amazed him how broad the spectrum of kinks was for this man. Everything from blindfolds to pain, he somehow managed to find the pleasure in all of it. However, it killed Phil that he couldn't touch his baby in turn.

Clint continued to work Phil in and out of his mouth, before he pulled back and swirled his tongue over the fat, mushroom-like head. It was all too much too fast, and, stars dancing before Phil's eyes, he felt himself falling into the orgasmic bliss. That was, until it was all cut short by Clint squeezing his dick painfully hard. His orgasm was quenched and his erection withered a bit. He frowned and tried to buck into Clint's hand, but the blond wouldn't have any of that. No, he was hell-bent on making his handler _pay_ for the torture he had forced him to endure.

"And now," Clint stretched out over his lover, demonstrating amazing flexibility. "For the best part."

No prep. No lube. Clint took all of his man at once, stilling only seconds so that his body could adjust to the size. And then he started a hard and fast pace, hearing Phil moan behind him as he met every one of Clint's thrusts. But then, Phil angled his hips perfectly and hit Clint's prostate dead-on. The marksman saw stars and practically melted at the mere sensation. But, all too soon, they lost their rhythm. In fact, only Clint was pushing back onto his lover. Confused, he felt the older man's cock soften and slide out of him with a wet _pop._

Hawkeye turned around and looked his lover over. The man had fallen asleep. The fucking man had fallen asleep _again_. Clint couldn't believe it! Quickly, he gathered his stuff and turned off the shower, but didn't bother to take his handler down off of the shower head. He could sleep like that for the rest of the night for all he cared! Mumbling a fluent string of curses, he got dressed and turned off the music. Maybe he would crash at Natasha's for the night. At least she had a sufficient stash of beer…

When Phil awoke three hours later, he looked around blearily. "Clint?" And then he realized that he was bound to the shower head. "Oh shit. Clint, where are you?" There was no answer. "Clint, you little brat! I'll get you for this!"

Next time, he would think twice before insulting Clint Barton's libido…

**OOOO**

**A/N:** Well, how was it? Please Review!


End file.
